


All Fun and Games

by ditrex



Series: Silly One-Shots [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, for friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9563390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ditrex/pseuds/ditrex
Summary: Mario Kart is serious business.





	

“Dude, there is no way you could beat me in this game. I’m a motherfucking champion, man. Men and women alike quake in their fuckin’ boots when they hear me come by in my Toad car. Children cry when they hear they have to face me in a one on one. You really want to put your family through all that shame? This could turn into some sort of Mulan shit, you know. You’ll have to cross dress and train to bring honour to us all. And I will be the super hot commander who’s like, aw man, too bad she’s a woman, because if I was into chicks I’d be all over that. Wait, hold on, I see no tits. I see no tits anywhere. Then I’d be like “you play Mario Kart good” and then we would make out. I don’t know exactly where this metaphor is going anymore, but long story short, I’m going to kick your sorry, tiny short wearing ass.”  
Jake laughed, shoving his boyfriend to the side.  
“Oh, hush up, you absolute douche. I’m not cross dressing just for Mario Kart.”  
“I would like a list of things you will cross dress for.”  
“Dirk.”  
“Will you cross dress if I win?” Dirk asked, fixing his fiancé with an orange gaze. Ever since he had moved in with the Englishman, his shades were only a necessity for going out of the house. There was too much to focus on in their cozy little life to have his vision hazed by a shield that frankly, didn’t even work anymore. Jake could read him like a code. A little difficult to understand at first, but as soon as he memorized the signs, there was no point in trying to hide them. And right now, the signs were showing that he was being much too cocky.  
“Perhaps. But if I win, you’ll have to do something for me.”  
“Like what?”  
“Hm... You cook dinner. And no going off to play with your silly little robots tonight. You have to stay here, with me, and cater to my every need.”  
Dirk snorted, rolling his eyes.  
“Sure. Fine. You won’t win, anyways, so it doesn’t matter.”  
~~~  
“Jake, get out of my fucking lane!”  
“There are no lanes!!”  
“Sure there are! And you’re in mine, you dick!”  
“You’re just sad because you’re losing.” Jake teased.  
“I am not sad.” Dirk bit back. “And I’m not losing, either. You just got fucking lucky.”  
“Then why, pray tell, am I in first place?”  
“Because fuck you, that’s why.”  
Jake laughed, loud and bright. It was completely different than Dirk’s expression. His brow was furrowed in concentration and anger, his back hunched as a string of mumbled curses left his lips.  
When Jake won the game, he whooped and hollered, grinning like an idiot.  
“Pay up, Strider!! I wonder what we’re gonna eat tonight? I should make you cook something MASSIVE.”  
“I will make you mac and cheese.” He grumbled, stranding up.  
“That it? Aw, guess I shouldn’t complain. It is the kind thing to do, given the fact that you WERE just overthrown as king of Mario Kart.” Jake laughed. “Go on then. Maybe I’ll even let you have some.” He winked, letting his grumbling fiancé trudge into the kitchen.  
~~~  
It had been an hour since Jake won, and playing with the dog only let so much time pass. Honestly, mac and cheese came in a box, how hard was it to make?  
“Dirk?”  
No answer.  
The Englishman stood up, his Samoyed at his heel.  
“Dirk, is everything alright?”  
The house was silent. A trickle of worry crept up Jake's spine as he stepped down the stairs, his thick brows furrowed in a line of concern.  
He stopped in the kitchen doorway, his mouth hung open in shock.  
“What the bloody fuck are you doing?!” he exclaimed.  
The sight before him was certainly a strange one. Jake had to give it to Dirk. He did what he was told. He made the mac and cheese. But he certainly did not expect the 25 year old to be sat cross legged on the floor, eating it off of the Mario Kart box with a skewer stick.  
“Dirk.”  
“Hello.” He spoke dryly, stabbing a single noodle and sucking it into his mouth.  
“Are you KIDDING me.”  
“I made your shitty box of noodles, man. This is what a marriage is all about, doing what your partner wants.”  
“Have you really been sitting here the whole time?”  
Dirk nodded, eliciting a sigh from his fiancé as their dog happily trotted over to share the noodles.  
“You know what? Fucking... gods, Strider... where are the skewers?”  
That almost got a grin from the blonde on the floor. Almost. He motioned to the bag on the counter top, patting the tile floor beside him.  
“Pull up a seat, English. There are plenty of shitty noodles to go around. As long as Leo doesn’t eat them all.” He noted, watching as the dog scarfed down a good amount of said noodles.  
“They’re my shitty noodles anyways. I bought them. I am entitled to all of the noodles. Now, please tell me why we are eating them with sticks?”  
Dirk shrugged, feeding Jake a noodle.  
~~~  
An hour and a healthy dinner of a box of cheap noodles and ice cream later, the two were curled up on the floor in front of the fire. It was warm and quiet, their movie long forgotten. Dirk wouldn’t admit it, but he was glad that Jake won. If not, there was no doubt in his mind he would have been cooped up in his garage, tinkering with his newest piece of machinery. Jake slept in a tight ball beside him, face pressed up to the blonds chest. He smiled down at him, running his fingers through Jake's hair. The Englishman stirred beneath his touch, mumbling quietly.  
“Hey, baby. Let’s get you to bed, okay?” Dirk cooed, kissing his forehead.  
“Mm... fuck off, I’m fine here.” He yawned.  
“Noo, come on.” Dirk sat up, pulling his body into his arms. “C’mere. Eating noodles with a tiny stick has obviously tired you out.”  
Jake snorted, leaning into Dirks touch. He was easily carried upstairs, Leo trotting behind him. Dirk lay him gently on the bed, covering the both of them up with a blanket.  
“You know,” Jake yawned. “I really should have made YOU put on some sexy skirt. Cooking a box of shitty macaroni really was too simple a task. How could I have been so stupid as to pass up a chance to see your legs in long socks?”  
Dirk snorted. “Later.” He promised. “If you beat me at a game of super smash bros.”  
Jake laughed, quiet and soft.  
“You’re on, Strider.”


End file.
